31 7 / 2014
31 7 / 2014
1) My nephew Dexter comes to spend the day with my mum every Thursday, whilst my sister is at work. He even visited me and work today. Having that boy in my life is definitely one of the most precious and positive things. Seeing the cheeky smile on his face would make anyone’s day.
2) Sounds a bit strange, but in my head it’s a positive. My work hire me on a bank basis, which is great to mould around auditions, like when I was working at Harrods - except the people are nicer. Over the next few weeks I’ve been called in on an almost full-time basis, and for me that’s a good thing because the extra money I’ll be earning will help pay off some of the silly city debts I’ve racked up over the last year. Having that money coming in allows me to feel more secure and gives me a chance to treat myself to a day out or two with my friends… When I next have a day off.
31 7 / 2014
Finding positives for yesterday was quite a challenge, but then again, when you’ve had a difficult day, it’s hard to see the light in it sometimes… But here we go.
1) A lot of let downs yesterday. The Eastbourne Pier burning down, having to stay an extra half an hour at work to feed a patient who was supposed to have been discharged, Cameron flying off to Spain for 3 weeks… I guess the positive I gained from these experiences was the fact I remained calm and maintained a positive attitude in the workplace. As an actor, life can get tough, but having the mindset that everything happens for a reason and nothing lasts forever, can get you through almost anything the world throws at you.
2) Coming home to my family and being able to switch off in a loving environment. It’s sounds silly, but watching The Only Way is Essex on television with my two brothers and future sister-in-law may not seem the most social of occasions, but it definitely makes a change to when I used to live in the city after a hard day at work and had no one else there to watch it with. It’s the little things.
3) I FaceTimed with Cameron last night after he’d arrived at his mum’s house. Cameron in himself is one of the most positive things I have in my life, as he’s one of the only other souls on this earth who truly know me and what goes on in my messed up little head. Even though we’re far apart these next few weeks, with every chance I can get to speak to him, I’ll end our conversation with a smile on my face and knowing the fact that I have someone who loves each and every (well almost every)thing about me. Miss you.
30 7 / 2014
30 7 / 2014
1) Knowing that even though I no longer live in the city, I can still travel up easily and conveniently. It’s a positive thing to know that the city still remains part of who I am, and I get to visit often for all sorts of mischief and drama.
2) My life is always a drama. In my wonderful world, I’ve come to learn that nothing is black and white, and if I want something I’m never going to simply have it handed over to me. Today was a prime example. I had a singing call for a musical. I thought I did an okay job, but the energy the panel gave me seemed otherwise. So after the “thank you”, I skulked off outside to gather my things and roll a well-prepared cigarette. I then text Cameron, in reply to an earlier “break a leg”, “I got cut”, then I continued on a tangent of “it’s a s**t musical anyway”, only to then find the casting assistant standing in front of me telling me that they’d like me to stay and dance. Thank god I rolled that cigarette, else I would have been out of there. I had a great time in the dance call. We learned a fun routine and I got my usual buzz and serge of positivity that I get when I perform. Now I just await hearing on a recall. Fingers crossed.
3) Finding a third positive was challenging. The train journey home was an absolute NIGHTMARE. It took me 4 hours to get from London back to Bexhill, because someone jumped in front of a train, which meant I missed out on the sunshine all afternoon. When I finally got home, I went upstairs to my room, lit my scented candles, put “My Family” on the DVD player, got into bed and chilled the hell out. So I guess the third positive would be that I know how to have “me time”, I know it’s importance and I’m lucky enough to be able to give it to myself most of the time when I need it.
29 7 / 2014
1) As my days tend to begin, my positivity began at work. I’d played part in overseeing the recovery of one of my patients. She was very sweet and thankful for my services. I took it upon myself to visit her room before she was discharged and wish her well in her further recovery. I guess the positivity comes in the fact in that outside my partially selfish career choice, I do a job which is really set on helping people. I put my all into that place and I leave everyday feeling rewarded.
2) I got to spend an evening with my mad Aunty Sharon and Uncle Jim last night. I stayed the night in preparation for an audition the next day. We waved around crystals, read tarots, had a couple of glasses of wine and caught up on everything. Having a closeness with many members of my family is a very positive reassurance in life. When I was growing up, I kept everything from them, but knowing I can now be open and honest, I can avoid all those mess ups like the ones I made in the past.
3) On my train up to London, I took part in a very humorous group conversation on Facebook, bottoming one of my friends, Timbo’s, status. Although my friends take joy in taunting me and all my faults, I do care about each and everyone of them dearly. They are part of who I am and I wouldn’t swap them for the world.
29 7 / 2014